Because Candy Says So....: My Future Home, AUSTRIA!

Forget Madrid, Barcelona, Greece and Istanbul, Austria seems to be a better place to go to. To get access to this ultra modern, highly secured and exclusive place with first class facilities, I would probably need a partner in crime. Justizzentrum Leoben has full, state of the art gym, private rooms for guests, beautiful walking grounds, sports center that include basketball court, pink pong table and many more.

The architect of this place must really have a soft spot for those who are bad and naughty. People like me so I am sure I would fit right in! All I would have to do is find me a partner, go to Oesterreichische Nationalbank, (Austrian Nationalbank) wearing our Zorro masks and rob the place. We will be successful at this task and spend all the money on clothes and shoes, go to Amsterdam for some grassy experience and will send over some goodies to our friends in the Philippines and shower you all with gifts and I will also send a crater of Cibo sardines to the South of France for a friend (yeah you know who you are). When the money has run out, we will go back to Austria and turn ourselves in. Yup, you heard me right because the only way for us to get in to this posh place is to be a criminal. I am not sure I can be a killer. I hate the sight of blood. Robbery and spending money that's not mine sounds like fun though. No wonder a number of our politicians do it. I could be a rapist but that's going to be tough...what if the rapee turns out to be willing? I mean, seriously, look at me. BWA HA HA HA (evil laugh).

Justizzentrum Leoben is a minimum security jail for VIPS and very wealthy gangsters. A prison I surely don't mind staying in. Each cell has its own TV, wooden shelves and desks, a small dining table, cabinets and proper sunlight. Need the sun to keep my tan right, you know. Even if the photo is blurred, the prison guard seems to be cute. I have been to Austria and believe me, the guys there are hot!

There are artworks so the place is not drabby, fountains and a high tech auditorium so if our Thriller jailbirds from Cebu decide to go international, there's a venue waiting for them already.

Anyway, if you want to be my partner, please submit your resume first. I want to make sure you deserve to be in this place and that you don't foul up my strategy because you know, this stay is all for free! I just hope that the Austrians does not simply deport me back to Manila. Although I do have a cool Michael Jackson jacket...